I’m not going to lie, it sucks being alone in Idaho. I loved it when I was in college, and I dealt with it when I was married, but it seems like the worst place to be when I am divorced. Maybe it’s just my own self-conscious thinking, but I feel like people are walking around judging me. Even if I don’t know them, I feel like they can somehow tell I’m divorced and they say to themselves, “
Oh my, what a pathetic person to be divorced. How could she? Doesn’t she know that no success can compensate for failure in the home???”. Granted Rexburg is a bit more conservative (is that the right political word?) that way. I know when I move somewhere else, it won’t seem as bad. But living in a city with 378,561 young, “happy”, Mormon, marrieds sucks.
I hate that I always have to be dressed to the max whenever I leave my house, for fear that I will run into Tyler or his sisters. (You might be thinking how possible is that? The answer: very. I’ve run into his sisters a few times.) I wish I didn’t care, but I do. I want to be like, “In your face, look how hot I am!”, but I really can’t do that in sweatpants or without my bare minerals. So instead, I primp it up before I leave.
Luckily I will be busy enough with work and school, and I have a few really great friends to pass time by with (and soon a new baby to play with... hurry up Baby Watkins!). Before I know it, it will be summer again, and I will be moving back to Canada (crossing my fingers for Calgary!), or Arizona, or Vegas...
Now I am off to my classroom, because that place makes me so so happy.