I’m not going to lie, it sucks being alone in Idaho. I loved it when I was in college, and I dealt with it when I was married, but it seems like the worst place to be when I am divorced. Maybe it’s just my own self-conscious thinking, but I feel like people are walking around judging me. Even if I don’t know them, I feel like they can somehow tell I’m divorced and they say to themselves, “Oh my, what a pathetic person to be divorced. How could she? Doesn’t she know that no success can compensate for failure in the home???”. Granted Rexburg is a bit more conservative (is that the right political word?) that way. I know when I move somewhere else, it won’t seem as bad. But living in a city with 378,561 young, “happy”, Mormon, marrieds sucks.
I hate that I always have to be dressed to the max whenever I leave my house, for fear that I will run into Tyler or his sisters. (You might be thinking how possible is that? The answer: very. I’ve run into his sisters a few times.) I wish I didn’t care, but I do. I want to be like, “In your face, look how hot I am!”, but I really can’t do that in sweatpants or without my bare minerals. So instead, I primp it up before I leave.
Luckily I will be busy enough with work and school, and I have a few really great friends to pass time by with (and soon a new baby to play with... hurry up Baby Watkins!). Before I know it, it will be summer again, and I will be moving back to Canada (crossing my fingers for Calgary!), or Arizona, or Vegas...
Now I am off to my classroom, because that place makes me so so happy.
2 comments:
Please move to Arizona! Just don't get a job at a charter school (see my comment on Becca's blog!). Actually, just move wherever we are because I want you to be my kids' teacher one day! I feel so much better not living in Rexburg now. I really think that it is such a wonderful town... when you are a single college student. It's nice to be out in the "real" world now and not the "bubble." So move away and start anew my friend! : )
It can suck being there. Small town Idaho is very closed minded. Most of them haven't left and seen the world, so they just don't understand life isn't perfect! You will do awsome where ever you are! You are a smart beautiful person, don't let anyone tell or make you feel different. No one knows everything that happened but you, so they can stick it!
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