Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Since I don’t feel like it is appropriate for me to wear this anymore,

(Although I really want to. I am in love with this ring. My next husband will have to search long and hard to find me something better...)

I decided to splurge and buy myself a new ring. After browsing the mall and online, I chose this.

I didn’t actually go to a Tiffany’s store (because there aren’t any close by). I ordered it online, and it should be at my door by the time I get back to Idaho. I have never been so happy with a purchase in my entire life. And you know what? It was really nice not to have to check with anyone before buying it.

Monday, July 27, 2009


I am sitting in front of my computer, trying to finish a paper entitled “Improving Reading Performance in At-Risk First Grade Students”, with the biggest smile on my face. I don’t know why, this paper is boring and stupid, but I can’t stop smiling. I am just so happy. I feel like I don’t have a single care in the world. It’s such a great feeling to be truly happy. Even though I still have homework to do, more weight to lose, divorce stuff to work on, very little money, moving back to Rexburg, and 16,302 other problems, I am HAPPY!
And you should be, too!

Saturday, July 25, 2009


So... incredibly... AWESOME!!!
I so wish this could be my next wedding.
Do you think the temple would be able to accommodate this?
I will definitely have to work on my dance moves.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Dreams do come true...

I have been waiting for a new Sophie Kinsella book for soooooo long, and it is finally here!!! She is by far my favorite author. If any of you even remotely liked “Confessions of a Shopaholic” then you must read all of her books. They are absolutely hilarious! I love connecting to her characters, and being taken away into their world. There are not many books (who I am kidding, just about every book I’ve read...) that I stay up until all hours of the night reading, because I just CAN’T leave their magical world! All of her books I am simply unable to put down.

Her new book (which nearly caused me to faint when I saw it in the paper):

I cannot wait to read it! I am not buying it until I get back down to Idaho, which is making me seriously contemplate going back early. The wait will probably kill me...

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Get ready, it's about to get personal!

Sorry in advance for the randomness of my thoughts. I’m pretty much just typing everything that’s in my head. It’s very disorganized and hard to figure out...

All three hours of church today seemed to be directed right at me. Isn’t that always the case? The main topic was adversity. Obviously that, and pretty much every lesson since April, has made me think about my situation. I didn’t think I would want to publicize my thoughts and feelings, but for some reason I am.

The Sunday School lesson started off with D&C 121:7 “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;” If you would have read this to me three months ago and expected me to be understanding of it, you probably would have gotten punched in the face a few times. But I really feel like I understand that now. Yes, this next year is going to be extremely difficult being “alone” in Idaho while I count the days until I can move back to Canada, but it won’t be anything compared to eternity. Adversity is in the Lord’s time. I just need to learn to be patient. I really enjoyed the discussion we had after reading D&C 98:11 “And I give unto you a commandment, that ye shall forsake all evil and cleave unto all good, that ye shall live by every word which proceedeth forth out of the mouth of God.” It is so easy to leave what you know to be good and right when adversity comes, but that is the exact opposite of what we should do. We need to cleave unto all good. I am surprised and proud (is it weird to say that I am proud of myself?) of how I handled, and continue to handle everything. I could’ve drunk my sorrows, given up on the church and everything else that mattered. And don’t get me wrong; those thoughts did cross my mind. But it seems without even thinking I knew what I was supposed to do. I went to the temple as soon as I could after I came home to an empty apartment. Yes I bawled through many a session, but I just knew I was supposed to be there. I was so lucky to live five minutes away from the temple, so I could go once or twice a week. (I miss that now that I am in Canada - threeish hours away from the temple). That first nightmarish night I restarted my personal prayers and scripture study, and haven’t missed a day since. I am incredibly grateful these things just came naturally to me. I don’t know why, since they have been sitting on the back burner the past few years. Am I 100% okay now? Not even close. I am still so angry that my eternal companion abandoned me without as much as a note or phone call. I am furious that I didn’t get to decide my own future. It’s not fair that something so sacred and personal was taken away from me, and I didn’t even get a say or an opinion. But deep down I really am grateful and relieved. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I’ve forgotten how happy I used to be and how much happier I can be. I feel like this summer has been such a great experience for me. I lost so much control in areas of my life, and needed to get it back. My parents have been so good to me, and so helpful and loving. They’ve encouraged me and lifted me up. I feel like I have control back. I am so proud of myself for finally sticking to my diet and exercise routine (for the most part) and losing close to 20 pounds so far! Do I have happy feelings towards Tyler? Not a chance. Do I wish bad things would happen to him? Not anymore... But I will definitely run and hide if I ever see him again!

We didn’t read this scripture today, but it was on the next page of where we were, and I have always loved it. D&C 123:17 “Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” I am not going to let Tyler ruin my chance of eternal exaltation. I am going to be happy and cheerful as I continue to go through this, and a million more challenges.

p.s. I really appreciate all the uplifting comments/messages you have given me through here, facebook, emails, real life. It’s nice to know I have a lot of loving and nonjudgmental friends!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Story Time!

Once upon a time there were two young children commonly known as Ally-Monster and Grumpy-Grace. One day, their mom, forced to go camping for a week, was left with little ideas of what to do with the children. Thankfully, the girls’ wonderful, fun, favorite aunt stepped in to save the day. When the aunt arrived, the girls welcomed her with hugs and cuddles. Quite a surprise, since their nicknames described them so perfectly. After a day of observing and helping, she felt confident in her babysitting abilities. They started the week with a trip to the library and nearby park.

After lunch, Grumpy-Grace went down for a nap with no problems. This was a little puzzling. The aunt was sure there would be crying. During the nap, Ally-Monster wanted to paint the ceramic tea set the magnificent aunt brought for her. While they painted the aunt explained how Ally-Monster needed to be careful with the tea set, because it could break and she couldn’t buy a new one. Ally-Monster’s reply was: Ok. But, I guess if I do break it, you could just buy me a pony. Sweet little girl...

Once the tea set was painted, the aunt and Ally-Monster had to test it out with the first official tea party. But of course, no tea party is complete without banana-chocolate chip muffins! So the girls baked them first. When the muffins were finished, the girls were ready to begin the tea party.

The rest of the week went on in a similar fashion: library, park, tea party, library, park, tea party. With Barbie Princess and Dora movies thrown in as needed.

One terrific Thursday morning, Ally-Monster decided she wanted to paint her nails beautiful colors. She chose purple, green, pink, and silver. The aunt was extremely impressed with her lack of mess-making.

Yes, she was trying to show off her nails, but didn’t realize the camera only saw the palm of her hand…

When the week finally came to an end, the super aunt was shockingly sad to leave, especially when the girls were less grumpy and monsterish, and more like this:

The aunt realized she loved being a “stay-at-home-mom” for a week, and is slightly sad she won’t get to have that career for a few more years. But at least she has 20+ wonderful first grade children during the day, and that is pretty fun, too.

The End

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I Will Survive

I’m off to take care of these little monsters for the week.

I hope I make it back alive...

Friday, July 3, 2009

America may have my body, but Canada will forever have my heart...

It has been years since I have been in Canada for Canada Day. I have been in the states for so long, I thought I was beginning to lose my Canadian pride, but don’t worry, I’ve still got it. I smiled big smiles as I saw the countless flags being displayed throughout the city. I downloaded and watched the infamous “I Am Canadian” commercial and it still gives me chills of pride while I fall on the floor laughing.

For the big holiday event, we are not big celebrators over here. The only Canada Day event we made it to was the fireworks. I haven’t watched fireworks in a long time, and I forgot how cool they can be. My dad found us an AWESOME spot on top of a hill right across from where they were setting them off.

The other day when I was browsing through old files on my dad’s computer, I found a copy of a poem I wrote in one of my music education classes.

The task: write new lyrics to a popular song.

The result:

I know it is nothing compared to the “Nifty Fifty”, but I was only a novice poet back then...