Adoption

So today my parents and I went up to Barnwell, Alberta for my aunt and uncle's mission farewell. At the end of sacrament meeting a woman comes up to my parents and asks if they remember her. They didn't. She then introduced herself as my biological grandmother. I was so shocked. I really didn't know what to say. I think I just sat there, smiling and speechless. Thankfully, my parents were there to make small talk until she had to leave to teach primary. She made a lot of positive comments and reiterated how glad she was that I was raised in the Van Orman family. She told me a little bit about my biological mother and suggested I look her up on facebook. (I really do not think facebook is the way to go on this one...)

I have never had negative feelings toward anyone. I was never angry at my biological mother for giving me away and I am definitely not angry with my parents. They have always told me I was adopted. I used to love having my dad retell me the story. I am extremely grateful to have been given to the family I have now. I know that we were meant to be together. We all just seem to fit. In fact, when I tell people I am adopted, they usually find it hard to believe.  I am kind of indifferent about meeting my biological mother.  It would be nice to see what she looked like and learn what traits we have in common, but I also don't feel like I need to meet her to fill any void in my life, or anything.  So for now, I may just incubate for a while.  I don't know what I want to do.  I know I don't want to be the cause for bringing up negative feelings in my biological mother's life.  The door does go both ways, right? 

This is a short essay I had to write for a college class.  I can't remember why, but I'm glad to have a copy of my adoption story.  Enjoy! 


My parents had heard about my upcoming birth because my biological grandmother is a good friend of my dad’s sister. One of my aunts was also my birth mother’s Young Women’s leader. From the moment of the news that they were looking for adoptive parents, my parents were very hopeful that it would work out. Both my birth mother and grandmother wanted a special family for me that would raise me in the Gospel and be worthy to have me sealed to them. (Which my parents tried to do). My parents were a bit hesitant to hope too hard; they were afraid of having their hearts broken if it did not work out. Young mothers are well known for changing their minds and my mother was only 15 at the time.

I was born on September 22, 1984, and my parents heard about it that very day. My birth mother wanted to leave the hospital as soon as possible and wanted me to go to my parents the next day if possible. My parents were delighted to add a baby girl to our family. The next day my parents went to the government office where they saw me for the first time. It was immediate – the love they felt for me and the strong impression that I was meant to be with them. They felt that Heavenly Father had made it possible for them to be my parents. My three older brothers were so excited to have a baby that “would grow up to be a girl”. Everyone that my family knew was very surprised that there was a new baby, as they hadn’t told anyone about it for fear that it would not happen.
 
My parents then had to go through the government adoption procedure. They had the home studies and papers drawn up. They had to wait six months before the adoption could be final. My birth mother had all that time to change her mind. That was a very difficult thing to know that she could decide to take me back and that would be the way it would be. The papers were done wrong and then had to be redone and resubmitted to the courts – so the whole thing took over a year. My parents were finally approved and the very next thing that we did was go to the Cardston, Alberta temple to have me sealed to them. My brothers were all dressed in white (as was I) and we all were in the sealing room. It was a special day for all of us, it was also my mother’s birthday, and so she remembers it very well. The officiator in the temple had my father and mother kneel across the altar in the sealing room and then they put my little baby hand on theirs and sealed me to my family. It felt right and my parents knew that it was meant to be.