Tuesday, July 10, 2012


Happy Birthday, Tyler!  

Wish we could have had a big party, like I like.  
Sometimes I just sit and wonder, how on earth my life turned out this way and why it had to.  This was definitely not in my plans.  But I really hope getting out of Idaho will help me in moving forward.  It was difficult still being there with all the memories and such.  It will be nice to have a fresh start.  

I am glad I was able to visit his grave one more time before I moved.  I was surprised to see a headstone.  From what I had heard from his family, they weren't planning on getting him one.  I thought that was so sad.  I understand that his family was ashamed, embarrassed, and confused by his death, but he still deserved a headstone.  One of his sisters finally got one, and I'm grateful she did.  

While I was at the cemetery, I read this talk.  It was really informative, and I highly recommend it for anyone  dealing with suicide.  It gave some powerful insights and great comfort.  I especially loved this passage, 

"As I think about the worry and agony of those whose loved one has taken his or her own life, I find deep comfort and faith in the Lord’s promise and blessing to us who remain in mortality: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)"

Love you, Scrub.  


Warren&Ave said...

I'm so glad they got him a headstone! We only knew Tyler a short time but we really thought he was a wonderful guy :) He had kind eyes and a great smile. I could not imagine living with so much pain and unhappiness. I'm sure you miss him alot - hopefully you remember, mostly, the good times :)

kate said...

so sad you moved to az right when we moved away!! it would've been fun to get together. that makes me mad that they weren't going to get him a headstone--- so glad someone finally did! i loved reading (again) the post you linked that you wrote shortly after he died. it's exactly how i would've described him too, which makes my heart break even more to try and comprehend the place he was in when he made the decision to end things. kind of glad i didn't know him then-makes it easier to remember the REAL tyler, the one you and i knew. anyways, thanks for sharing your honest thoughts.... hope you love az as much as we did!!!!

Becka's Street said...

I didn't know Tyler, Janae, but I know he is unfortunately missing out on the most amazing person ever! Luv ya! XOXO